Ask Jigsaw: I ruin everything | Advice for Young People

Ask Jigsaw: I ruin everything

How do I accept to love myself when I hate everything about me and want to change everything about me and feel I ruin everything I just want to be normal.

It’s equally important to notice the things that we like about ourselves

Linda, Jigsaw Clinician

Hi there,

I’m sorry to hear that nothing feels right for you at the moment. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone else is doing well, and we are the only one struggling.

“Love yourself” is a message we are often given. It can feel like we are failing if we don’t love every little thing about ourselves. Actually, it’s completely normal not to always love certain parts of ourselves. Sometimes, it can even be helpful to notice some things that we would like to change.

However, it’s equally important to notice the things that we like about ourselves. It sounds like you are struggling to acknowledge the good things about yourself. It might be useful to learn some ways that you could deal with self-criticism here.

Unhelpful Thinking

As humans, we can’t think logically 100% of the time. We can often fall into unhelpful ways of thinking about things. It sounds like you are assuming responsibility for ruining “everything”. Maybe you have had a part to play in something that’s gone wrong but, it’s likely that other people had a part to play too. It’s not helpful for us to assume that the negative things that happen to us are all our fault.

It can really helpful to speak to a friend or family member about how you are feeling. While you might feel like they are “normal” and you are not, it’s likely that you will find some shared experiences.

If the way that you feel about yourself has a negative impact on your life and the things you do, you might like to think about getting some help or support.

Best wishes,

Linda, Jigsaw Clinician