Ask Jigsaw: Don't want to worry my parents | Advice for Young People

Ask Jigsaw: Need to talk but don’t want to worry my parents

Hi! I am a 14 year old student in Ireland. I am feeling a bit lost at the moment… You see I have been to my school counsellor a few times and the last time I went (about 3 months ago) I was really happy that day and I think my school counsellor thinks I’m fine now but to be really honest I’m struggling… Like really struggling but I don’t really want to ask to go see her again because I’m really afraid. I really know though that I need to talk to someone but I don’t want to ask my parents to go to a therapist outside of school because I don’t want to worry them…. If you could give me some guidance or anything really I would be so grateful

-Quirky23

Mental health is not static, it is constantly changing depending on what is happening within and around us

Vicky, Jigsaw Clinician

Hi Quirky23,

First of all, well done for reaching out and talking to your school counsellor in the first place. It takes courage to seek help, particularly if you are feeling lost.

Our mental health is not static, it is constantly changing depending on what is happening within and around us. We can have great days, and then really struggle again following this. Your school counsellor will know this, and I’m sure would want you to be honest if things have changed for you. In fact, it can be helpful that she has seen you on good days as well as bad, as it may help you both to figure out what’s going on and how to increase the good days and reduce the bad days.

Parents can be apprehensive too

With regards to not wanting to worry your parents, this is something we hear in Jigsaw a lot. However, parents are often perceptive and know when something is not quite right with their son or daughter. They can be just as apprehensive about bringing it up and discussing it. There a few ideas about how to ask for support here which might be helpful in opening a conversation. You may find that it is a relief to both you and your parents if you can be brave enough to talk to them about how you are really feeling.

Well done for acknowledging the need for support, and I hope you can take the next step in talking to your parents and guidance counsellor.

Take care,

Vicky, Jigsaw Clinician